The “Labor” You Love: Fear of Giving Birth

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3E Story Blogathon Post #1 -Rory Kelly Connor


For Day 1 of the 3E Story Blogathon, Rory Kelly Connor shares a very interesting post on birthing your new business or product, it being like a baby which needs your labor of love. She addresses the start up entrepreneur as "The mother of your dream" and giving the example of a client emphasizes its scary and exhilarating nature.                                         




You have this idea for a business (initiative, book, screenplay, product, service…you tell me). You have been working on it a long time, getting it ready. You have nurtured and grown it into a real live entity. You know its parts, its arms and legs, intimately. You have prepared a room for it in your life. You have picked out a name and told people it will be delivered soon. You have even prepared a sample announcement to send to your friends and family when it is here. You are ready. 

So what’s the hold up? 

Creating is Sexy 

As a PR and branding expert, I have always been adept at using words and ideas to shift thinking or educate in a way that makes sense to an audience. Core to being a great Coach and strategic advisor is an ability to teach in a manner that spurs the “Aha” light to go off in a client’s head. Not everyone “gets” something in the same way or is motivated by the same analogy. The important thing is to know your clients well and to communicate using examples they will understand. Which brings me to Honey (not her real name but I like saying Honey…) 

My client, Honey, had a great theme for a business. It was gestating inside of her just waiting to born. Super creative and wildly funny, very smart and business savvy, her authentic writing was a gift from heaven. And she has that special something that causes people to want to hang out with her. To pay to hang out with her and pick her brain. She was just afraid to allow her heart and her head to consummate the idea into being. 

Honey and I entered into a coaching/advisory relationship after she attended my first Fear Workshop in New York City. She needed clarity and a plan of action. Together, we worked through limiting beliefs and obstacles. We sifted through the myriad of manifestations for her theme. We plotted and strategized. She did the inner work needed to operate from a position of power and the outer work needed to establish a business. One day, things got very, very sexy and the intercourse fertilized her “embryo.” And the planning for the birth (aka launch) began. 

You are the Mother of Your Dream 

For months, Honey did all the work needed to bring her new venture to life. She knew what it looked like, felt like, and how she wanted it to feel. She had decided on services, designed an outstanding logo, and formulated a brilliant branding theme that had amazing resonance. In addition, she had purchased her web domain and began executing the steps to set up her business. Working for a Fortune 500 company that serves business customers, she knows marketing like a pro. She was ready and had a due date in mind. 

Then everything stalled. The due date came and went. Swollen with the need to make it happen, Honey continued to imagine a healthy delivery. We visualized. We further clarified. And we fortified. We had a major fear of labor and delivery on our hands. I needed to think fast. I needed to be creative. And then it hit me. It was time to administer my own brand of pitocin – Mother’s Guilt - to induce labor. 

Just as I have described here, I walked the hallways of our conversation using the birth analogy. Honey got it right away. She realized she was afraid, overwhelmed by the reality of this whole new life she would be bringing into her world. She had dreamed of this “baby” for so long and now it was crowning. It was really happening. She was so ready I could feel the head popping out. Still, her legs remained resolutely locked together. 

Having been a support person at two live births and an advisor for scores of new business and product launches, I knew that it sometimes could get messy. It was time for the Coach to get right into the action and yell “PUSH!” In other words, I said to Honey, “You are so ready. Everything is set. This baby is ready to be born. It is time for you to push and bring this baby into your world. What kind of mother are you???” Tweet This

My words were met with absolute silence. Then I heard a gasp. I could feel the horror, the guilt, the dawning of responsibility rolling all over her belly, right down to her……well, you know what I mean. 

Oh my God,” she said. “What kind of mother are you?! That is brilliant! And I know brilliant! It is so time to have this baby!” 

I am happy to report that my analogy worked. It resonated in a way that stuck with Honey and changed the dynamic to one of action and responsibility to self. She was being held accountable regarding the birth of her dreams in a way that vibrated at the core of her being. “What kind of mother are you???” 

New Life 

There is nothing more amazing to witness than a new life as it emerges into this world, then hearing it give a great cry of joy at being alive – even when it is someone else’s “baby.” I am humbled and honored by the great trust that clients place in me as they choose me to support them through a new “motherhood.” 

Giving birth to a new business or idea or product is a very personal journey. It can be scary and exhilarating at the same time. Knowing you don’t have to do it alone is a blessing. Yet, even if circumstances require that you do, it is a sacred responsibility to yourself to try to bring your new life into this world. Being pregnant with your possibilities for years or a lifetime, never experiencing the relief and satisfaction of bringing that new life into the world, is an agony. 

Yes, it is always your choice. Yet, don’t let fear stop you. Do the work, then open your legs and push! Wow! You are one seriously sexy new mother! Well done, Honey. 
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Based out of New York and Philadelphia, Rory Kelly Connor is CEO & Founder of Can You Imagine - A Strategic Counsel & Coaching Consultancy. She brings more than 20 years of client experience to her role as a Global Business/Brand Strategy Expert, Peak Potential Coach, and Certified Life & Career Coach. An accomplished writer, trainer, workshop leader, and change management expert, Rory is also currently a Featured Coach for the prestigious New York Women in Communications Inc. During her career, Rory has worked with an impressive array of clients around the world, providing counsel and coaching to C-level executives, corporate leadership, thought leaders, entrepreneurs, creatives, and individuals, among others. She has successfully developed and managed numerous multimillion dollar initiatives focused on brand and product communications, issues management, public awareness, corporate reputation and public affairs, and has counseled and media-trained CEOs, as well as numerous experts and spokespeople. Her media relations efforts are legendary, generating hundreds of millions of media impressions across the U.S. and abroad in every form of media, including wire services, broadcast, print, radio and web-based outlets. For more visit, www.rorykellyconnor.com
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