Twitter and the Dictator-A Humourous Story

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass
Once upon a time, there was a small island called “Euphoria.” It was a small and peaceful country and the citizens lived a life of bliss. Not only the literacy rate was 100 %, even the social media literacy rate was 100 % too. Everyone was especially fond of Twitter. One day the democratic government was thrown out in a coup and the Dictator Hellonavich took over and declared himself as the President. Keeping in mind, the popularity of Twiiter, Hellonavich issued the following President’s order to the citizens:-

President’s Order (to residents of Euphoria)

All citizens must comply with the following regulations, else they shall be sent on exile.

1)      All citizens must follow the President on Twitter @Hellonavich. Even infants should have a Twitter account (managed by the parents). The number of Followers would be used for census purposes and anyone who does not follow will be treated as a rebel.

2)      All citizens must retweet (RT) the President’s content at least 5 times in a day and mention (appreciate) the President’s rule at least once a day.

3)      All Twitter profiles should have the last line as ‘Hail Hellonavich’.

4)      #Euphoria should be used in all the tweets.

5)      The President shall send at least 10 tweets a day announcing the punishments (and rewards for sycophancy). You can chose any of the tweets and mark it as Favourite for the day.

6)      You can complaint directly to the king by using hashtag #complaintHisMajesty. Anyone complaining about disloyalty to the President shall be given handsome rewards (irrespective of the fact that the complainer is handsome or not).

7)      The President shall not follow anyone back except the Queen.

8)      Those who will include the President in their ‘Lists’ (of expertise, appreciation etc), shall be monitored. A reward may be offered if deemed suitable.

9)      The President shall declare the ‘Trending Topic’ of the day first thing in the morning and those who participate in the conversation/Twitterchat (and appreciate His Majesty) on a regular basis may be given subsidized ration.

10)   The recommended app is ‘Tweetdeck’ but the President shall show his mercy to those who use other apps.

11)   Only the President shall tweet “What he is doing” including the time of brushing teeth and dinner. Rest of the citizens must be relevant.

12)   The President can cross the ‘140 character’ limit and rest of the message will be included in the Blog link provided. Pressing the ‘Like’ button on the Blog post is a must and commenting shall get suitable rewards.

13)   The President can send a Direct Message to citizens but citizens are not granted this privilege.

14)   On every Friday, every citizen shall recommend their foreign friends to follow the President by using hashtag #FF.

15)   All the rewards and penalties shall be announced in the form of Tweets and will include the Twitter handles of the concerned citizens. You must monitor your mentions to know if you continue to be in the good books of His Majesty.

Best of Tweeting and stay euphoric. This is President’s order and he is true to his name.

NB-For any questions, doubts and tips for Twitter usage, please click the link below:-

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